Have you gone through the five LLs thingy with your H?
While I am not totally convinced that we each have only ONE major language - I think we need all, but in different ways and with different nuances - I think it is true that what WE think is being loving and giving CAN be totally NOT what our spouse wants or appreciates!
For example, I personally heartily dislike Hallmark style cutesy cards, but I have a friend who loves them, so when I give her a card I choose that kind, much as it pains me to spend good money on such "rubbish"!!
When giving a gift, in the end it is more important, if you want to convey loving and caring, to get what pleases the receiver, not the giver.
I'm afraid the opposite example is my sis, who has VERY strong ideas about what people OUGHT to appreciate, and she goes to endless trouble over gifts that SHE thinks are great, but often misfire with the recipient. Then there's hell to pay, with resentment and fury on the part of my sis.
I have learned to LISTEN to what people say they want and DON'T WANT on the gift giving/receiving front.
Inappropriate gifts, inappropriate timing etc, can be like a burden, a curse, an embarassment to the recipient. So THINK before you give!
Livnlearn
PS Sorry this came out sounding like a lecture!!
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
