Acceptance - My next challenge.

[Carnac]

AS: Your conversations sound exactly like mine.....strictly kids and logistics and if I even attempt to talk about anything else its ended very quickly by some excuse about where she has to be or what she has to do.

[Arsene]

Yeah, It 's the way it used to be for me as well but for some reasons, I think my plan is resulting in baby steps and we seem to be in a much better place now. I've been at it for over 30 days now. I'm not getting my hopes up though. Cheers!

[Arsene]

I'm having a really hard day today. I really feel the loss of the friendship that my W used to provide. It seems that the few friends I have here are too busy with their own lives to spend any time with me and I haven't been able to forge new friendships. I've been to a few Toastmasters meetings and that has been a nice break and perhaps, in the long run I can see making friends there but for now, I feel very lonely and as busy as I try to keep myself (and believe me I do and I am), when I find myself home alone, I feel it even more.

I guess as much as I thought I was getting better, I am still dependent on other human beings for some level of happiness. All other attempts at GAL are stalled, waiting for things to take place. Everything takes so much longer around here. I first spoke to the president of the 4 X 4 club over a month ago, texted him twice since, and still no news as to when the next meeting will be.

Last night after the Toastmasters meeting, instead of coming home to go online, I went to a cafe, hoping to meet people but being a foreigner in this place makes you unapproachable it seems. Even one of my friends was telling me last night (on FB chat) that her friends are afraid to meet me because they don't speak English well.

To top this off, I'm not rolling in money either so GAL is restricted to free or cheap stuff.

At the meeting last night I won a ticket to attend some comedy act on Saturday afternoon. I hate to do this while my D8 is home alone (with the maid) but I'll do it just to see if I can meet other people, or at least keep my mind off things.

Don't worry, I'm sure I'll bounce back up.

[tori2012]

Arsene, I know how you feel. I too feel I've lost my best friend, and everyone is just busy with their own lives. Nights and mornings are the worst. Even though my H filed for D and it seems almost certain we will go through with it, I miss him, and I say a prayer for him every night.
Toastmasters is a great idea to meet new friends. What about other activities? Are you physically active? Is there a hiking or walking group where you live? I don't know what kind of opportunities you have in the country where you live. Meeting people at a cafe might not be the best idea. It has to be some sort of planned activity. A class? Sit down with pen and paper and brainstorm activities you like to do; then check out local groups in your area.

AND you have this board. Without this board things would be so much more difficult. Being able to express yourself and getting such support is a lifesaver. We're here for you, even if we're far.

[chatterbug]

go to a movie by yourself.

go for a run.

go to the library.

go to the cafe.

go to a diner for breakfast and sit on the counter seats.

go to a church.

go to a park.

go play pick up football ,rugby , cricket , rounders....

[ForeverYoung]

Yes, some days sure are worse than others. Just know that you will get through this and will have plenty of friends to hang with again. I'm sending friendship particles your way...

[MrBond]

"I am still dependent on other human beings for some level of happiness. "

That's not a bad thing. We are all grown to be social creatures. There's no "codependency" about it. Don't beat yourself up over this.

[chatterbug]

"I am still dependent on other human beings for some level of happiness. "

That's not a bad thing. We are all grown to be social creatures. There's no "codependency" about it. Don't beat yourself up over this.

Wise words.

[Arsene]

Thanks for your support guys and girls. It helped a lot knowing you are here.

What about other activities? Are you physically active? Is there a hiking or walking group where you live? I don't know what kind of opportunities you have in the country where you live. Meeting people at a cafe might not be the best idea. It has to be some sort of planned activity. A class? Sit down with pen and paper and brainstorm activities you like to do; then check out local groups in your area.

I go to the pool 3-5 times a week for 45 minutes of laps but it's on my own (I literally have the pool to myself as people don't like to go out in the sun). I'd love to go hiking but the only group I found so far are the Hash Harriers and the focus seems to be on heavy drinking. I might still give it a go. As far as classes are concerned, or local groups, language is always an issue, but I'll think about it and try.

AND you have this board. Without this board things would be so much more difficult. Being able to express yourself and getting such support is a lifesaver. We're here for you, even if we're far.

Thanks Tori. I appreciate this.

go to a movie by yourself.

Yeah, I could do that

go for a run.

I bike and swim instead (never much of a runner since I hurt my knee). I'm in better shape than I was when I was in the army 25 years ago.

go to the library.

Not many of those around here and all in the local language. Also not a place to hang out.

go to the cafe.

Yeah, but I end up feeling alone in the crowd.

go to a diner for breakfast and sit on the counter seats.

Boy would I love to do that. No diners around here and no counter seats (sometimes you're lucky to even have seats)

go to a church.

Haven't been in one of those in many years but I have thought about it lately, if for nothing other than the human element.

go to a park.

not many of those around here either but I have been.

go play pick up football ,rugby , cricket , rounders....

Not my thing but I have thought about trying some sort of team sport.

Thanks for the support CB

I'm sending friendship particles your way...

Thanks FY, I just got them.

That's not a bad thing. We are all grown to be social creatures. There's no "codependency" about it. Don't beat yourself up over this.

Thanks Bond. I know this but it bites that I can't seem to be able to function without it right now. I need to get in a different frame of mind to get more friends but I feel like I need to be with friends to get into a different frame of mind.


Again, thanks for your kind words, advice and concern.

[breakdownbill]

Arsene

Go and see a movie next chance you get, if I'm honest I've always preferred going to the cinema on my own. It's just you and a story for 2 hours, love it!!

Post here what you go and see.

Last film I went to the movies to see was Ted, really funny, if it's still on try and catch it

Bill