Quote:

Quote:

THANk GOd I got my head ou of my butt for a little while anyway
Hugz,
Zoo


Hmm..seems like something you might tell me to do on a regular basis!

Glad your V-day went well. Your poem was beautiful!!

Hope you are doing well and enjoying this gorgous weather!!



Hi Booby

Yes, it is something I would say to you...LOL Never said I was perfect now did I??

I'm in a funny place right now. Haven't really had much to post to my own thread. Things have been going OK for the most part, small postives but nothing really out of the ordinary.

The thing is...I feel totally detatched right now??
I don't know why, there isn't any real reason for me to detatch from my R/M, but it is like I really don't give a crap what H is thinking/doing right now.

I haven't been turning my IM on until it gets close to the time for H to say he is coming home for supper. When he does IM I make NO effort toward conversation, I just say "ok" a lot.

When he comes home from work at night I pretty much go about doing my own thing or just sit on the couch and say nothing to him. I don't touch him unless he asks me to.

I think H is starting to freak 'cause he keeps asking me what is wrong? I don't know what is wrong, so my pat answer is "nothing". He HAS started being more affectionate again though Last night he rubbed MY back until we fell asleep !

I'm kinda worried about my actions/reactions though. They aren't "typically me". I know that I am thinking very resentfully lately and my tone of voice has taken on an exasperated edge. Instead of asking H when/what/where etc, I am TELLING him. I think I have been vocalizing my displeasure about some things a lot more lately too.

I know I did that last night Told H ILY right before going to sleep which is the one time I limit myself to saying it first. His response back was just a plain ILY...it was empty of any endearment or emotion or anything. I just turned to him and said "I HATE when you do that". He asked me what and I said "I hate when you say ILY like that, no emotion, no real feeling to it. It falls flat and sounds like you are just saying it as an automatic response or just because I said it." H was like "I DO love you though hon!?" I then pointed out "do you even realize that we hardly tell each other that anymore?" H said "WE say it ALL the time!?" I told him "NO, it gets said when you go to work and right before we go to sleep...anytime in between is a RARITY". He got pissy then " I didn't realize there was a quota". I told him there wasn't one.

The whole thing seems stupid in retrospect. I don't even care that I pushed it the way I did.

I'm starting to feel EXTREMELY independent too. Beyond the norm of what I usually feel.

i don't know, not even sure what it is i am trying to point out here...rambling mostly I guess.

Hugz,
Zoo

"If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm." - Mahatma Gandhi