A New Phase?

[Nblost]

H left again today for OW's city. (He came back Sunday after being there almost a full month straight)

He tries to avoid any discussions which helps me not get into R talks. However, I did call him today to tell him we need to talk about next steps in the divorce. Before we got into that, I clarified that he still wants to take the kids on vacation with OW for a week after Christmas--yep, he does. Okay, so I said I think we need to discuss splitting our assets. He agreed and we had a relatively good conversation about working together and avoiding tons of legal fees (we'll both have lawyers to protect ourselves but if we can agree to some things ourselves...much easier)

That all seemed good but H is acting sad. He said he could see why I needed to move on...making it sound like the divorce is all my idea. I guess it is...but he makes me feel bad about pushing for the divorce. If you've been following my sitch, I'm at the point where he's been openly having an affair for over a year.

I don't know how to feel. I still know I wouldn't take him back without the affair ending and his job changing dramatically--and he's not saying a word about changing any of that. I think he's still manipulating to stay on his fence. I think he hopes I'm still around if his affair would ever end.

Just had to vent...I have peaks and valleys and feel low today.