I am having a very difficult night. Unfortunately I broke a DB rule and snooped at my H's new iphone account just to see what I had set up for the plan. Lots of calls/texts to the OW in the past week. First thing when he leaves for work, before I get home from work, when I am not home some evenings...basically whenever I'm not around.

My heart is so broken...not that I didn't already know he was doing this, but my snooping confirms his infatuation with HER. I just can't bear it sometimes. ANd I feel so badly when I fall apart and my boys hear me crying in my room. They always give me lots of attention and affection afterwards, but I hate that I make them feel sad too. And, I am so angry at him too & it seems I am always holding in it.

When is it okay to release your true emotions??? I exercise frequently and that really helps, but some days I just can't I feel like a emotional wreck.

I am really worried about the approaching holidays & especially that I won't be strong for my boys when I know they'll need me most. Can someone whose endured this a little longer give me some words of wisdom?

M- 18 T-21
S-14,11 & 10
BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA)
H moved out 11-3-2012
10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life.
11-25-13 Jointly filed.