Back to Square One?

[Wendylon]

Actually that would seem to indicate that your detaching is working, maybe he's starting to wonder what you're up to. Sounds like there's some mystery there and now he's not so sure you'll be there 99.9% of the time. That's the impression you want him to have! You might play into that and find things to do more evenings. Get dressed up even if it's just to go to dinner with friends, that sort of thing. Keep him guessing!

Thank you for that suggestion. It makes me anxious to keep him guessing because, as I said, I don't want him to bail first thinking that that's what I'm doing. I remember 2003-04 when he was in the middle of his PA and he saw me having coffee with an old university friend and commented that it was really nice to see me GAL. I didn't know what to make of that. It was as though it made him feel that he was off the hook with his A since I was socialising with a man. He didn't leave in the end though so maybe that was part of what worked despite what he said!

It's normal for a WAS to distance when a LBS goes dim. With enough time the WAS usually goes into pursuit mode though.

You're right: I haven't been doing this for long. I will give it more time.

Tell him that you need time and space to think about the M because you're not confortable with his recent actions. This is a good response because you're not saying he's right, but you're not saying he's wrong either. Keep him guessing!

You really do formulate such great responses! How do you think of them--apparently so effortlessly? Do they come to you as easily in your own sitch? Thank you, AnotherStander.