Hahahaha, yeah, it is crazy and that's why I had to get it all written down. The thoughts were running through my head non-stop from last night through today's interactions and I was having a hard time focusing on anything else. Now that I've written it down I'm much more calm and at ease.
I do understand the pursuit/distance dynamic you mention. I know that if I give in at all, especially if I do any of the big no-nos listed DR LRT, then all my progress is for naught. I'm making sure that I always put on a content smile, act self-confident, and be the kind of person she wants in her life even if I'm having to fake it a little in front of her. I know that if I act depressed, needy, or clingy around her that it's just going to push her away.
I do like that advice from Accuray, makes sense, you react but only subtlety so that you're not the focus of their misery.
I keep trying to remember that I became the villain in her eyes. She's going to keep looking for reason to keep me the villain. If I stop the behavior that made me the villain then other people/circumstances become the villain.
She's a boat lost in a storm, there's a lot going on in her life, and I was acting like the eye of the storm. I need to do all that I can to be safe harbor. To be calm waters. To be the lighthouse in her life.
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
