Was she up in the middle of the night and this morning fighting with Steve?
Why did she warn me about Steve? Is she just scared that I'll boot her out right away? Or does she still consider us a couple and doesn't want anymore grief?
Why did she pick up the trash?
Why is she apologizing so much?
LOL! Oh man, do we LBS's ever love to read meaning into everything!! Remember DB rule 32:
32. Do not believe any of what you hear and less than 50% of what you see. Your spouse will speak in absolute negatives because she is hurting and scared.
Don't try to figure out what she's saying or doing, it'll drive you crazy because most of it won't make sense! Based on your posts my guess is your detaching is having an effect on her and she's starting to go into pursuit mode. Are you familiar with the pursuit/ distance dynamic? It's a favorite pasttime of WAS's, if the LBS detaches and distances, the WAS will pursue. Then if the LBS responds to the pursuit, the WAS will go right back to distancing. Stick to your game plan. Detach as much as you can while still sharing a roof and transportation. If she pursues then don't respond in kind, respond at a lower level. Here's something Accuray posted that I loved so much that I copied it to my file:
This is a roller coaster, and there will be very dramatic highs and lows. The best thing you can do is try to stay near an emotional baseline. If the WAS bounces between 10 feet up and 10 feet down, the LBS tends to go 25 feet up and 25 feet down in response. Your goal is to go 5 feet up and 5 feet down instead.
