I did some thinking about where the R is right now. I realized that she isn't going to notice or care if I'm holding off masturbation right now. I realized that by holding back I was still just throwing off sexual signals, however much subtle, that was going to just keep hurting my situation.
By masturbating I get that energy out of my system, that way I'm not focusing on wanting sex with her, I can focus on the emotional aspect of our R and be more focus in making the changes I need to make.
I've masturbated since posting and know that it was the right decision. When I saw her it wasn't hard for me to keep my eyes from running her up and down, I wasn't just thinking about sex with her, I was considering all that's going on in our R and what I need to do to stay on track.
I figure once we get the R on track and we get back to being intimate, then I can abstain from masturbation and she'll see it as a real gift.
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
