Ed,

Just caught up on your sitch, and I must say that 25yearsmlc and Leopoldstotch (LOL Butters:)) are absolutely giving you sage-like advice.

Trust me on this, I know how hard it is to go out and GAL sometimes. But I also know that once I FORCED myself to do it, even if it's only a few hours a week... well I started seeing immediate improvements in ME.

Is GALing going to solve all your issues and make you a happy person again? Absolutely not, but it WILL help you get some perspective on your situation, on your "new" life, and on the possibilities of the future.

So much of what you're doing is 100% familiar to all of us on these boards. Grasping at every communication, reading WAY too much into any interaction, overanalyzing every move that our spouses make... While these may be normal "instincts", they're destructive to that path that you need to be on. For you and for your child. The more you keep clinging on to what's not working, the longer you'll be stuck in this pit of despair.

I can't tell you the exact moment I decided to start focusing more on ME than my R, and I can't tell you that I've completely "dropped the rope" just yet, but I can tell you that as hard as it is to do (start focusing more on you, your child, and stop obsessing over your significant other's actions/words/thoughts/feelings) it's ALWAYS worth it.

Good luck! You've got some great people watching your back here!