she told me that all the love letters she wrote were just words and meant nothing
She is going to say stuff like that. She needs to, in order to justify to herself what she is doing. It is called “spew”. She will need to rewrite history as well.
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Had her parents come up for a visit for 3 weeks and slept in my sons room - how embarassing is that
Embarassing for HER dude. Why are you worried about what her parents may have thought. She is the one that wants the D. Chances are her parents are not stupid and probably can see the craziness that she exudes now.
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she is taking my son away for 2 weeks for her sisters wedding and I am only allowed to stop by the church for the ceremony and only cuz I want to see my son in his first bridal party.
“Taking away your son”. No one can do that buddy. You are his Dad and always will be. Change how you are looking at it. For example: Consider that maybe yours son will have a good time, maybe you can use the time away to focus on your band or write a song. Anger and hurt will make see things one way…..peace makes things look a lot different.
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changed her facebook status to single
SO WHAT! If it bothers you so much STOP looking at HER FACEBBOOK page. Sunny, you are letting HER ACTIONS CONTROL how you FEEL. I can’t help with that..only you can – hence we say DETACH.
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We are gonn have to sell the house if we divorce - the kitchen was last done in 1968 so we will get more money for the house so its a win.
First, are you sure that you “have to” sell the house if you divorce? You have no idea what the settlement will be (if you get divorced). Second, if you will get your money back (assuming you sell the house) why are worried? Stop looking at all of her actions. RIGHT NOW SHE IS not the same person (hence “life crisis”). She may not be the same person for a while (no one here can tell you when and if she will wake up). Look man, you need to DETACH from her antics. You need to sit down and figure out WHAT YOU WANT in YOUR LIFE that does NOT revolve around HER. You need to stop thinking that she is YOUR BUDDY – she aint right now…at least NOT YET.
Detaching does not mean be an as*hole to her. It simply means that while she is in lala land that you begin to live your life as if she may not come back. You begin to live you life and change the things about you that YOU do not like. You begin to become the man that you always wanted to be. On that note, what kind of man do YOU want to be? What are your values (and please don’t tell me all about how you want to be a good husband…tell me about YOU!)?
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she told me that I am not being fair and she should get to go out more
You want to avoid this chit from happening in the future…here is my suggestion. Draft up a parenting calendar and share it with her. Draft it so that it works with YOUR schedule. For example: On Mon, Tues she is responsible for your son. On Wed Thursday you are responsible, you guys can then alternate weekend. On the weekends that you do not have your son – make plans, GAL, do what you need to do. The parental responsibility will fall on her.
All of her other rants/comments about what you are doing – IGNORE.
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am I wrong for doing this
Are you?
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I am trying to GAL but I also am trying to keep her from having the freedom of a single person
1) “keep her”…hmmm…sounds a bit controlling to me. YOU can’t keep her from CHIT. YOU can’t keep her from wanting to live a single life. This is why you are pissed off and hurt. You are trying to “make her” wake up, trying to “make her” come to her senses. You can’t….only she can. You can though…be an as*hole and just make your own life more miserable. 2) The more time you spent looking at her, trying to anticipate her every move, every thought, trying to find out where she is, who she is with, etc….is all time you take from YOUR LIFE.
Sunny, you seem to be a nice guy and I know how much this crap [censored] and hurts dude. I do. A lot of us have been where you are at. The quicker you let her go………the quicker you ignore the bullchit that comes out of her mouth, the quicker you start to realize that YOU are not crazy, the quicker you start to look inside yourself and take this gift of TIME to become something bigger, better, become a man that YOU are proud of….Well that is when it will get better!
I believe you can do it!
Are you ready
To start
The real…..
WORK ON YOU!
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
