Journaling

The hormone tide has receded, an argument had no lasting repercussions and my brain has ceased it's seething negativity...I feel much more like myself today

An interesting thing occured last night...something I wouldn't have expected. My mother called, off on her tangent of ASSuming Pops is cheating on her again (they have been doing amazingly well lately ). At the same time H was IM'ing me so I outlined what was going on with m&p. When H got home we started discussing my parents sitch in more detail.

One of the big things that will set Ma off is if she feels like her sex-life is lacking. To her, if she isn't getting anything from Pops then somebody else MUST be. I told H this, at the same time admitting that the same thing could be said about me on occasion. H laughed and agreed with me. This was what part of the argument we had on Sun. was about.

I then told H that I could understand WHY Ma felt that way sometimes. I said " When an A has occured in an R it cause you to question your sexuality. I don't like admitting that I think along those lines sometimes but when you toss in the time of year that it is, going from constant sex to less frequent sex,some moodiness and other things...well, I find it hard NOT to think of the possibility."

H listened while I told him that and he acknowledged it and said he could understand it. He said "I'm sorry about that hon but sometimes I'm just not in the mood...it happens to guys. I just haven't been interested lately, I dont' know why and I don't really know how to explain it. It doesn't mean there is a problem though."

I then felt comfortable enough to ask him for a bit more clarification. I said "I just wanted to know if the lack of interest was due to things you have mentioned were a problem in the past...you know, lack of interest in me, boredom, dissatisfaction. I want to make sure that I'm not overlooking something that I shouldn't be." H then said "don't worry hon, it isn't any of those things, those are fine. Like I said, I just haven't been interested in sex itself."

This conversation was SOOOO amicable and all the time I'm thinking why couldn't it have gone like this Sun ? I mean, it was the SAME topic and I even asked some of the same questions??

H and i spent the rest of the night talking about various topics that interest us ...cosmology (was watching it on DISC channel ), plate tectonics, politics and chickens Don't ask me how we went from one subject to the next...that is the way so many of our conversations go.

Something interesting I found out about H last night though. He told me that he doesn't understand the concept of infinity...it doesn't make sense to him? This surprised me because H is quite good at abstract thought and has a keen interest in space...of which infinity is a factor. I tried to explain it to him in as simple layman's terms as I could but I don't think my explanation satisfied him. There is knowledge to be gained from that though. Extrapolate H's inability to conceive infinity as seeing things only in FINITE terms...all things have a beginning and an end; black and white. I can readily conceive infinity, some things just ARE, some things are immeasurable; GRAY.

Yin vs Yang
Mars vs Venus

Ok, I don't know WHERE I am going with this but it does explain some puzzlement I have concerning H. I'll have to think on it a bit more

Hugz,
Zoo

"If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm." - Mahatma Gandhi