right now I just dont see how its ever going to work out

It'll work out, maybe just not the way you want it too. That's why letting go of outcomes is so important, not easy but important.

The think to ask yourself is "What have I gained from this?" I know you've lost a lot but what have you gained? Write those things out, pat your self on the back and then keep working on you.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss