Maybe I shouldn't care, but it has and does bother me that it seems as though its been so incredibly easy for her to be done with this....im sure she would say differently that its built up for years....and I know about mind reading and all the rest I welcome the 2 x 4's because im stuck. Im in no mans land....I really wanna stand for my marriage and I really want to put my family back together and in the same breath...im really lonely for someone to give a crap about me.
That's my struggle as well. My W said over and over again that she wanted to be best friends, and I thought that would be beneficial because DR says to try and be your spouse's best friend when things fall apart. Plus it would be nice just to know she still cares at some level. But since she moved out she's become more and more distant. I went dim to try and give her space, but she seems to be using that to push even farther away. I don't have any 2x4's for you because I feel like you're doing the right thing and so am I. Does it hurt? Oh yes indeed. But is there a purpose? Yes there is. Our wives need time and space to sort through their thoughts. They think we're the source of every single problem in their lives. They have rewritten history. They need to think about all this, sort it out and (hopefully) come to the realization that the M is worth saving. And they need to do it with absolutely no input from us at all. So while this is a dark, painful time for both of us, it's a required step in the recovery process. You can at any time decide it's not worth the pain and suffering and drop the rope, that's always a choice. But maybe some more time is all that is needed. It seems WAW's need 6 months or more before the fog lifts. That's the "target" I've set, I'm not really expecting to see any progress for the next few months but I'm hoping to start to see some baby steps by then. We'll see.
