I think you rightly picked out a MAJOR plus here...that you DID NOT go down the route of your usual arguments. That although EVERYTHING didn't get "solved" it ended amicably.
THAT is a major coup...arguments are inevitable, it's how we learn to handle them that counts.
I think you DID need to "check in" with your H on the "state of the union". Perhaps a more positive or open approach would have worked better.
He took what you said (which were assumptions about how HE was feeling?) to mean that YOU felt that way. If that IS correct, it's better to be more direct and own the feelings.
eg "H, I think things are going great with us these days, but I feel better about us when our sex life is on track..."
H says "ILY, I cannot imagine my life without you in it".
I told him "I NEED to hear that, to be told that by you. That is something that I can't guess at nor will I make assumptions about it."
But really, for the real world, I believe things turned out pretty great!
