Keep breathing...

[25yearsmlc]

Dear Regretful,

I will take heat for this, I know...but I've read your words more than once...and

I hesitate to say much b/c you are in dire financial straits and that does matter....

and you are trying to DB and so many people here seem to take your hs' side...

I hear your regret and I GET that. In fact I appreciate it.

But with all the LBSers telling you how it sukks to be your h, and how much TIME you must give him before he can treat you half decently

b/c God forbid we admit his behavior MIGHT have played a role in your choices,

I just urge you to not wear a hair shirt for your sins, for too long. He doesn't sound forgiving and if he's never going to get past it

(I am not saying he won't, I'm just saying IF IF IF, he won't)

then what the hell is all this for? To KNOW you did your best? Okay that's fine.

Do your duty so you know you did your best,

but don't keep laying prone on the floor for him to kick you when you are down. He kicks too much and too hard.

You are a worthy woman, you are a woman who deserves more than you had with him

and we can all hope you both heal.

But if he's out to torture you or never move on with this,

if he's going to hold this over your head like the sword of Damacles, forever,

then screw it.

Legally, You get to have the kids HALF time, regardless of the A's, so you won't have to ride in the "other" car again. (Unbelievably punitive of him!...)

I'm Sorry for confusing you, but I guess reading your thread just rubbed me the opposite of how it rubbed the others.

I see your h as so bitter and angry and vindictive RIGHT NOW-which might change, I know---

that it's hard for me to believe you two will survive this

I do not blame him for that, but I say it b/c I see it. You made some mistakes, so did he.

Can you stop wearing the hair shirt now? If not now, when?

IF there are signs he might work on things, of course I say, go for it.

But if not, at some point you must cut your losses and learn to be happy.