Keep breathing...

[mamabird]

Honestly, our dating wasn't always so fun. We had our good times, of course, but there were a couple times when he seriously withdrew and it freaked me out. So yes, he has trained me to be cautious and sensitive to his reactions.

I would love to be more fun n flirty but I'm sensitive to that right now because he might think I'm doing that with other men too. Just one more reason that we need MC. When I've tried that in the past he has not liked it. Maybe he feels threatened. I am a brunette and when I was going through chemo I bought this long blonde wig for fun and he HATED it... he likes me how he likes me and that's it I guess.

We have to have a serious talk tonight about our finances. Things have really fallen apart since I stopped working. H also stopped putting his paycheck into our joint account so I lost control of the $ coming in and apparently he spent like a fiend. We both are going to have to be extremely disciplined and committed to fixing the situation if we want it to work. We'll have to agree on a plan and stick to it, and communicate regularly, holding each other accountable.

I wonder if this will be a practice run for working on our M. Perhaps if we can make this work there's hope after all. I do know that a D at this point would be disastrous from a financial perspective.