Yes Shiny...it does seem like a brush-off at times.

I probably am feeling overly-sensitive...if so i would sure like to know why? I would also like to know WHY behaviour that has bee fairly consistent and improving over the past few months would suddenly stop though...that is what has me baffled.

I have tried the "old...."if you did X...I'd feel Y...." manner" of addressing this issue. I have just asked straight out about specific behaviours as well. His replys tend to be the same "I haven't thought about it, I don't know, I don't think so, I don't see it, everything is fine, you worry to much". I could ask him pretty much ANY question..."is your head inserted that far up your A$$?" for instance...and get either one or all of those answers It is almos as if he is programmed to reply in a set way just to the tone of my voice. Heck, I have even tried CHANGING the tone of my voice jst to test this. He tells me to speak up and THEN gives me one of those answers

Maybe it is just one of those THANGS...I have tried going back to DB 101 to try to bring him back around again (you know...doing what works) and I ended up making a mess of it That one still has me kind of puzzled.

I'm biting my tongue a lot but it is hard to keep some of the expressions off of my face He asks me to ply him with affection but doesn't want to return the favor anymore?

Oh well, i'm running off in rambling mode agian

The positives:

1. H colored my hair last night I don't know if he will "volunteer" to do that again! He did a good job though (different approach but good) and I think he NOW knows why I complain about my hair so much

2. This one is morbid somewhat but we talked about the need to have things set up for when we die...burial vs cremation, dispersal of the ashes or interment in a plot with marker etc. I see this as a positive because H spoke of us being together into old age.

3. H IS seeking my affection

Small positives, hopefully this is all just a phase and not the beginning of something more ominous. this time of year has never been good for us

hugz,
Zoo

"If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm." - Mahatma Gandhi