Breakdown, I didn't actually say that to him. I thought it though... I just looked at him. I know better than to say that!! Go back and re-read - I want to make sure that was clear.
Re: flirty/fun... H is just not in the mood for that right now. I think it would be seen as pursuing. One of the dynamics in our R is that he feels like he doesn't have enough control. He kind of needs to call the shots for a while.
Plus Acts of Service is one of my LL so I want to make sure he is appreciated for helping. I think with him it just has to be really black and white. He does not like game playing... I know, I'm making him sound like someone who isn't fun at all, and I think because of his insecurities, he's not able to really have fun and enjoy himself in a relationship, at least not ours. There is no teasing, no friendly competitiveness. Maybe we need to step up the fun aspect a little bit.
Oops, I read too fast....I see it now.
With regards to the flirty/fun thing, I know what you're saying. I was a lot like what you are describing. But who do you want to be? If that's not something you're comfortable doing, then don't. But if it is, then I'd just be who you are and enjoy yourself.
One question I was asked a lot that has helped...how did you behave when you were dating? Were you always so cautious about how he would react and what he'd think?
