3 years aftet D-Day and i finally registet

[leopoldstotch]

Am I Too Late I have read your story and wow what a story. The first thing I want to say to you is you are to be commended for being 100% committed to your son and for staying sober.

This has been going on for three years? I don't know how you've managed to stay sane. The first piece of advice I want to give you is what others have been telling and that is to DETACH from her ASAP. From reading your posts it seems to me that you have oneitis. Your W is not your whole world and until you fully realize that you will be stuck exactly where you are forever.

What is it that you do for yourself? From your posts I do not see any GAL activities. I know you spend a lot of time with your son and that is great but both of you need time apart. You need time for you and he needs time with other kids his age. So get out there and start to do things it will make you feel better.

Now as far as your W goes you need to stop focusing on the past good times that you two had. It does you no good to live in the past and hold on to hope that the W you once had will return. This is what is creating those feelings you keep having. Mr. Bond is right in saying that your W is in selfish mode and I'll go even further to that she absolutely knows that she can get you back anytime she wants to. The only person who can help your W is your W. You can't help her so stop thinking and hoping that you can. The only person you control is YOU and please don't forget that.

I've seen in a few posts that you have asked what your W means when she says certain things. For example she said things are going good let's take it slow. Now IMHO that is her throwing you a crumb and what happens when she does that? You want more. It's her way of keeping you around if you know what I mean. This is why it is so important to detach and GAL. She sent you a text at 5:45 in the morning and I'll bet you answered her right away. STOP doing that. Why you ask? Because it shows you are desperate for her and needy and you are at her beckoned call. If you text her does she immediately answer you? I'm betting that's a NO!

I want you to think about this little scenario I'm going to give you. Let's say that you are single and you go to a bar/nightclub whatever. You happen upon two very attractive women who are available but here's the catch one woman is depressed, sad, needy
and appears clingy and desperate. The other woman is upbeat, happy and confident and she appears to have it going on. Which woman are you going to be attracted to? You know the answer. How do you think you appear to your W? I already know the answer to that question. Why would she be attracted to that you?

You need to be upbeat, happy and confident when she around. Dress nice when she is around, start working out do not answer her calls or texts right away. Why you ask? Because all this makes you appear to have moved on without her. It makes you look attractive.You are creating mystery. Oh wow Am I Too Late looks like he's been working out he's looking good. He's starting to dress nice I wonder what's going on? He doesn't answer my calls or texts I wonder why? Could he have found someone better than me? Even if those thoughts do not run through her head doing all that will make you feel better and that's what is most important.

I know that this post came off harsh but I'm doing this for your own good. You need to take some control and take care of yourself for a change. I have to run but I'll check in later.

Butters