sandi2, wow, that took me off guard. I do understand that I can't bust a divorce in this instance, I just thought I could still save a relationship.
And maybe you can, but she does have a point that you're trying to save an R that never really got off the ground to begin with. When you say "As usual, things were great at first, plenty of chemistry and we both couldn't wait to see the other." You're basically talking about the release of dopamine into the system, that's what gives us those "puppy love" feelings early in the R. It lasts anywhere from a few weeks to 6 months and many relationships end after that phase is over and reality sets in. It takes years for a lasting R to build, if one falls apart in months then it could very well be a house of cards.
Quote:
If I go home tonight and tell her that I've thought about things and if this isn't going anywhere, if she doesn't love me, if she doesn't want to be there then she needs to move out (be it tomorrow or by the weekend) then at this moment she'll be homeless; that is a hard thing to face living with.
You can give her more time if you're concerned about putting her out. A month should be ample time for her to make other arrangements.
Quote:
And, just wondering, what if there is a future here if I do make changes? If I give an ultimatum tonight or anytime this week doesn't that bring a solid end to that future? In DR it says not to give ultimatums.
If you want to make it work, then no ultimatums. If you're moving on then DB no longer applies to the R.
