I think one of the dangers of DBing is that our spouses lose respect for us how can you love and respect someone who lets you do whatever you want and takes it with no responsibility. I feel if I had been stronger from the beginning of this whole fiasco and said here is the line cross it and we're done - now it's to late - who wants someone who you can abuse the [censored] out of you and you just take it.
Go post your story on a forum like ‘talk about marriage’ and you will be flooded with advice to file for D ASAP and teach her a lesson. Then read the stories here where LBS’s doormat it for years and years, no matter the results. There has to be a happy medium somewhere in between. Maybe set up a time frame you're willing to wait it out while working on yourself. One year, 6 months, 30 days, whatever you know you can commit to. Then after that time you re-evaluate and decide what to do next. Since you’re here you must have some commitment to save the M.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
