Question- You said she asked for money. Did you give it or did I overlook that? Sorry I tried to look back but I have read sooo many threads they start to blend. I have been focusing on natural consequences. Meaning you created it, you deal with it. I'm not helping. While I can understand your feelings about your children and them being upset by staying with her. How does she handle it when they are upset? Is she really seeing what is happening? One of the things that happened here yesterday, when H was going to get parts to fix my car he asked our S14 to go with him. He refused. Unfortunately, I could see the reaction on my H's face. It upset him. What he didn't know is that S didn't go because he was not feeling great. H assumed it was problems with the relationship. While I felt bad that he misunderstood at the same time I felt like perhaps it wasn't such a bad idea if he started to really feel some of the consequences of his leaving. Natural consequences. I could make things easier. I choose not to. I also do not make things more difficult. I simply stand back and let him deal with and navigate his own relationships. I stopped being a caretaker and let him rise to the occasion and be an adult. Maybe you are being a bit too helpful to your W? Also while I understand your point when you say you ask her about work, why not, not ask? lol Meaning don't say anything. Let her take the ball. I think of conversation as that. Bouncing a ball back and forth. If you are always the one asking how are things going, how are you then that is just too lopsided and may still feel like pursuing to her. Also, you mention all the stuff you do with the kids but not much you are doing just for you! Any classes or anything you are interested in? Any home projects?
