I have decided to ask H to move out. After last nights anxiety attack and talking with friends I think it is the only way for me to focus on myself and my daughter to get better. Has anyone been in a situation where they have had to ask to WAS/MLCer to move out or is this a bad decision when I still do want my marriage to work?
I sort of did that. When W and I were in MC W kept saying there was no chance for us and that she felt like she needed to move out. So I encouraged her to do so. I didn't specifically order her to move out, but I told her I supported her decision and agreed that it would likely be best for both of us. So I guess I would suggest asking your H if he thinks he will eventually move out, and if he says yes, then tell him you support him and think he should move out sooner rather than later (assuming that's what you want). In reading the WAS reconciliation stories around here, it seems that movement in the relationship doesn't usually happen until S. If there is no S then things just seem to remain in limbo indefinitely (not always the case, but most of the time it is).
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I'm not giving up but letting him go for me and my daughter.
It was very, very tough on me after W announced she was leaving but was still living at home. After she left it was much easier for me to detach and my PMA improved a lot.
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Is it really possible for a WAS who is now the LBS to save her marriage? I am trying to find some success stories on here to give me hope but haven't been able to
Did you read all the links I posted earlier? You're never going to find a sitch that's exactly like yours (no two are alike), but there are plenty of success stories. There is always hope, as much hope as you care to hold in your heart.
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I am going to move on with the mindset he's gone, because he is and I don't know if he will come back and I can't keep hoping he will. I have to in order to bring normalcy back into my life and my daughters.
You have to do what is best for your physical and mental health. If that means "dropping the rope" then so be it.
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I am still going to read DR as I think it will help me regardless of the outcome. In the meantime, I will have to "go dark" in order to be able to function properly. Any words of wisdom or success stories would be appreciated. Hugs to all.
Quite right, DR will help you regardless of what happens. It's about making yourself a better, more attractive, more mysterious, more appealing person. Often this is what draws the WAS back.
Denver dropped the rope, told his wife he was letting her go (and he 100% meant it) and the next day she asked to reconcile. So yes, there are success stories. Unfortunately there are no guarantees. We all want guarantees, but there are none. That's the beauty of DB, it improves YOU. So regardless of what happens in the M, you emerge a better, stronger, more confident person.
