There ARE, admittedly, two schools of thought on this subject, Alk. One is more "standing and fighting" and the other is more "letting them go." Both have valid pluses and minuses. The "this isn't working for me either" statement does carry some risks with it, but if you take as your underlying assumption that it's NOT working for you, and that whatever "x" "y" and "z" are, they are things that YOU COULDN'T HAVE ABIDED ANYWAY, then really . . . where's the risk?
We'll talk more this week, I'm sure, but one over-arching thing to keep in mind as it relates to your anxiety about how many different ways the conversation can go:
Learn the beauty of "Hmmmm; I'll have to think about that."
You DON'T have to commit to anything right then, and in fact we would strongly advise you NOT TO, anyway. Statements such as "I'll have to think about that and get back to you," and "I'm not sure how I feel about that," or "That's an interesting idea; I'll have to give it some thought" are great ways to listen, validate, and NOT COMMIT TO ANYTHING.
The problem you're having is what a lot of us guy/fixer/pleaser types do: you're thinking that with just SOME perfect combination of words and phrases, you might get your wife to see the light and get her back.
