Starsky, I LOVE it... Strangely enough, this is EXACTLY what IC suggested I do as well... To make a simple statement in the beginning asking something along the lines of "So what's going on here?" Keeping it open ended and allowing her to state what her intentions are.
Unfortunately, that's as far as I can plan, as there are a million answers that could come out of her mouth. Although I think it really boils down to three most likely responses:
(In order of likelihood IMHO)
1. She brings up D for the first time.
2. She states her uncertainty over the current situation.
3. (A very distant 3) She says she would be open to working on our R.
My issue with your response to her wanting to end the marriage is this: If I state that "It's probably for the best", isn't that me giving up, or showing signs that I'm giving up the fight? What if I went about it in more of this way:
"Well W, as you know, this isn't what I want here. Whether you've been able to see it or not, I've been fighting HARD for our M, working on myself and the things I did to contribute to your unhappiness, and growing as a person. That being said, if it is your decision to end this M, I won't stand in the way. I don't want to be an obstacle to your happiness, and I don't want this M to be an obstacle to my happiness either by continuing to fight for a M that only I want."
