I actually successfully restored my marriage once previously after H had moved in with OW. I did not keep up the changes and slid back into old patterns and am back here again. So yes, it can and does work. You have to work it though. Sometimes it can take a bit to really let it sink in and decide that you are absolutely determined and going to fight for what you want. You CAN do this! Even if he has moved out. With children there will be many, many opportunities to show him you have changed and things have changes. Get ready for those! I hope you have DR. It really is important to read it. Remember to work through it and identify your goals. Once you do that you can see ways to change your behaviors to bring you closer to what you want! Going dark REALLY helps but is really the hardest thing you will ever do. It gives them a break from you so they can sort things out, it also gives them a chance to actually miss you and your kids. One thing I noticed is I had to stop contacting my H for any reason. I decided that if he was interested in what the kids were doing then he would have to be proactive and take the necessary steps to talk to them and find out what is going on in their lives. In the meantime, when he would call, I simply didn't really talk to him. I was cheerful, said sure they are here, put them on the phone and really didn't say anything unnecessary and certainly didn't ask anything unless it was directly related to plans with kids. Nothing else, didn't ask about work, friends, family, nothing unless I absolutely had to. You CAN do this!
