Like MrBond said, you're engaging in damaging behavior right now and it needs to stop. You're pretty much doing everything that DB/ DR advises against. I think you're aware it's not working, so please, read DB and/ or DR and implement the strategies. As MrBond said DB'ing does NOT make you a doormat. It liberates you from what your H is putting you through, it gives you strength, confidence and independence. It is primarily for YOU. Often the newfound strength makes the LBS so much more appealing that the WAS is drawn back to them. It doesn't always happen that way, but even if it doesn't you'll find yourself better equipped for your new life with or without your H.
