My Story WAW due to Gaming Addiction

[MrBond]

You can be short and to the point and still be nice. If you act like a d@ck around her, who wants to go out with a d@ck?

"She said she thought I was stalking her and she was somewhat fearful of me and that is why she was acting funny and standoffish all of a sudden."

Forget about this. It's all spew. When my W first left, she claimed she was "afraid" of me and so wanted to meet me only in public places. I had never done anything to harm her and we barely even had arguments. It's meant to deflect blame onto you, kind of like putting themselves in a fetal position so you end up being the bad guy rather than her having to deal things herself. Easier to blame someone else rather than looking within.

[twisted9999]

Sooooo.... Yeah well Mondays meeting for some reason actually helped. For some strange reason my wife has started talking to me about thing not having to do with the kids. When I call to tell the kids good night she will usually talk to me about random stuff... Not long conversations but conversations none the less. She is also asking for help with things which has not happened since the separation. Not only that but she is asking me if I want the kids on days that I usually don't get them.

It's just strange how she goes from so standoffish and telling me I was the worse thing to happen to her to how she is now.

No expectations, no pressure, let her initiate things, continue 180, make the most of the moments we have.

[twisted9999]

So i kinda surprised my wife last night when i dropped th kids off. The playroom at my wife's house's fluorescent light ballast went out. So I bought a new fixture and when I dropped the kids off changed it out. She was worried I would kill myself since it was electrical. Made the comment dont worry if i die you can collect the life insurance lol which she responded that is not funny as she laughed.....I stayed for a little bit afterwards and talked but not too long. I think she likes this new me and is somewhat confused at how to react....I know I like the new me I am much happier...

Also, I decided to run in a 5k race. I have been training for it the last 4 days. It was something I got inspired to do over my business trip last week from a coworker. He tricked me into running with him and I was able to run the whole 5k so since then I have been running 3+ miles each day. I also wanted to try and help others out and set up a fundraising website to try and raise money for Autism Speaks. I am doing this in honor of my son who was diagnoses with autism about a year ago.

[twisted9999]

So I sent out a mass text message to everyone on my phone about me raising money and running in the 5k. My wife sent me a text message asking how long 5k was. And if it was ok if she came with the kids to watch. She also asked if she could run in it with me. I told her I don't see why not. She responded she is only running 1.5 miles. I told her she can do it it was all mental that once she gets past the initial pain it really is not that bad. We will see where this goes. Needless to say I think this caught her way off guard and really got her thinking but I may be reading too much into it.

[twisted9999]

Still having short conversations here and there with the wife. It's kinda funny I call to tell the kids goodnight tonight and after I am done she gets on the phone. I can tell she wants to talk but at the same time doesn't. She will start to say something then just stop mid sentence and hand the phone off to one of the kids then get back on the phone and pretend like she was not going to say anything.

We are planning my daughter birthday party together in November so that gives us something to talk about.... Nine years of marriage and never once has she asked for help in planning any of my three kids birthdays. I am enjoying the interactions but not reading too much into it nor expecting anything out of it. Baby steps, be her friend, no expectations, enjoy life.

[twisted9999]

LOL its funny how little faith my wife has in me. I texted her this morning about getting the kids this Sunday. This is not a day i usually get them but she mentioned i could take them anytime i wanted. I plan on taking them to the zoo.

Me: Hey do you have anything planned this sunday with the kids? if not can i pick them up after church? I dont have work and want to take them to the zoo.
Wife: we get out of church at 12. Is someone going with u??
Me: I get out at 12 too. no just me and the kids.
Wife: That's is going to be difficult????
Me: Yes it will be. But when is anything easy?

No response after that i am not sure if she is mad or not but her lack of response usually means she is angry but i am not going to let that stop me. Just because it is a difficult ordeal for me to take on 3 kids by myself does not mean i should not do things fun with them right? She has the luxury of her mother living with her and she helps when they go out. They take the kids all over the place: aquarium, swimming, spacewalk place, etc. Never once have i been invited to join them...not that i was expecting it but still.

[AnotherStander]

Some here might disagree, but in my opinion it would be OK to invite W along (if you want to). It sounds like she may have been fishing around a bit to see if you would invite her. In DR it talks about setting up activities like this and telling your spouse they're welcome to come along if they want to, IE, phrase it in terms that you're going whether or not they come along. That way it doesn't come off sounding like a date and there's no pressure for them to go.

[twisted9999]

That is what I usually do. 2 weeks ago I went to the park and told her she is welcome to come if she wanted too but i understood if she didnt. She turned it down and said she had house choirs to do..which is true she does them when i have the kids. I plan on doing this too when or if she brings it up. If not when I pick the kids up i will throw it out there. I would rather do it in person then through a text.

[twisted9999]

So since i asked about taking the kids i have talked to my wife 2 other times. Both times she brought up me taking them to the zoo. Both times she says she is worried about me going by myself. That she wouldnt even do that or wish that on another person. She also said she would be praying for me and that she knows the kids will have fun. I dont know how to take this. does she think i just cant handle them by myself..i had no problem taking them to the park alone or all 3 swimming in my appartment pool alone (my kids are 1, 3, 6 and a pool is more dangerous than the zoo) and she didnt have a problem with that. Or is she fishing for an invitation...which honestly is wishful thinking but still. regardless i am going with or without her

[MrBond]

Just laugh and tell her that you'll be fine. Do that a couple times and take them someplace that she's never taken them to before. Show her a new side and would make her curious.

Then the third time you go somewhere new, tell her she's more than welcome to come along.