When we are young - we can look the other way A LOT. And we can look back and consider ourselves stupid but only with time and maturity can we "get it". My ex drove drunk a lot. He was a guy who got drunk on 2 beers.
Just after I had Ryan (firstborn), he and his buddies went golfing. Hours and hours later (when he didn't come home), I found out he had got blitzed (he told me he and his buddy were drowning their sorrows over becoming dads - WTF??? Our baby was PLANNED). He left the parking lot, hit a sign and did damage to the car that night. (the first of many such incidents). But our neighbour cop went and got him. I read him the Riot Act that night and then began the routine of him screwing up and me freaking out and him begging forgiveness. The whole puppy with his tail between his legs syndrome. The thing is - his brain was also between his legs. Making good choices was NEVER his forte. But I think "I" was the stupid one. It was so ingrained in me by my parents NEVER to get divorced that I continued to take him back and put up with his crap over and over again.
I dunno, Barb - yes, maybe Mr. Rich Guy is just an overly friendly and trusting super-responsible guy (although a super-responsible guy wouldn't have had too much to drink in the first place).
To me, the whole scenario sounds like an alcoholic who already has had one DUI and didn't want to risk another. Really, seems weird for anyone - ESPECIALLY someone with that kind of money - to ask virtual strangers he just met in a bar to drive him home. I say it's a BIG red flag.
(And FYI, apparently my radar for alcoholics is pretty good, because I've never dated an alcoholic or had an ex-boyfriend turn into an alcoholic - meanwhile, my friend with the busted radar always seems to end up with alcoholics and ex-addicts. Just sayin'.)
KML: Oh, I wasn't vouching for the guy - chances are you could be right. But then - you could be wrong. No way you can assume he is alcoholic based on that. There are way too many possibilities.
Anyway - Gineen never even met the guy.
I refused to meet anyone in person who I met online before I had checked them out completely. If anything in their story didn't add up (like why they didn't have/need a job) - I politely declined. I did a lot of "asking around" and in a city of under 100,000 someone always knew them or knew of them. OK - not 100% of the time (I did date a few from out of my city - like JOSH) but some of the time.
You don't have to call a deal breaker until you hit a deal breaker. And some people repeatedly hit deal breakers and still look the other way.
Other possibilities about the rich guy-- not his house and not his car; OR friends goofing around?? I would like to see this mansion. Game room in the basement with a fix it up car in the garage? You never know though, he could be the Dark Knight. Wonder
Well, of course.... Last week I told myself I was going to take a break from dating for awhile. Over 3 weeks ago I shut down my online profile and just kept busy. There was one last guy who had been patiently waiting for weeks to get me out on a date. A week ago Friday I decided to get it over with. I didn't want to go, didn't even care what I wore and....yep, he is terrific and I really like him. We went out again last night and there's a definite connection on many levels. There seems to be an almost 'unwritten understanding' that we're going to try and give this a chance. No expectations, but it's really nice.... Who knew? We'll see.
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
And that GG - is how it works. No expectations. Just being yourself. The guys I REALLY liked could sense it and backed off. The one I didn't expect it work out with - did.
^^^^^^ My sister keeps telling me the same thing. ^^^^^^^
The guy I told plainly I didn't want to go out with anymore called me a bunch of times. I talked to him a few times, and then he called me drunk and was being horrid. I finally just hung up on him. I realized I am letting him waste my time. And I just don't need to be polite to everyone.
And most certainly don't need to be nice to someone who alarmed me so much that the red flags were on fire! But it has me pondering why I think I need to be nice to people.
I had a bad experierence today at McDonalds. And came away feeling mean. Why do I feel mean when someone else makes a mistake and I just ask for something simple like my order to be corrected? And I thought this girl messed it up when she was taking my order, and I had asked her to repeat back my order, to ensure she got it right. She didn't.
So I feel bad when I'm nice and bad when I'm mean. YIKES
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
