Quote: This doesn’t apply to all DB’d R/M’s by any means…but I do wonder how many it actually DOES apply to? How often does the returning WAS talk the talk but then start dragging their feet when it comes to walking the walk and how many of us LET them do it? I have a strong notion that I am guilty of just that very thing.
Sometimes I feel like I am just holding out for crumbs…that for some reason I am suppose to have this infinite amount of patience and hopefully my H will come around full circle and back up all those now “empty” solutions and assurances that he made some 4 months ago. I’m not even sure how much I believe half the BS he tells me anymore.
SO TRUE ZOO!!!
H has been home for 2 weeks after 8 month S. When I stand up for myself and say "I am done." That is when H stands up to the plate. Right now I feel that we are just going thru the motions and I analyze every little thing he does/say.
I have told him I want a GREAT M and will not accept less so we'll see what he does.
I have asked him to fill out the emotional needs questionaire from marriage builders. I need to do the same. If my needs aren't being met then I'm afraid that I will become the WAS. I do not want H to have any question as to what I NEED.
I know that I need to be patient but I also think that I need to prove to H that I was serious about wanting a GREAT M and not settling for less.
I am reading "Communication Miracles for Couples." It is an excellent read and I will try to incorporate some of the techniques. Check it out, it may help you too!!!
Zoo, if you have any ideas for me please let me know. THANKD!! nik
