Hi Kitti

Quote:

you have so much insight especially into yourself that it's a case of learning everytime i read one of your "inane" posts




I don't know if I would necessarily refer to it as insight. I have this HUGE hang-up about honesty...and for me the best place to start with honesty is with myself. How can I expect, or rather DEMAND, honesty from others if I fail to demand it of me. Likewise, how can I deal well with the truth when given it to me by others if I can't deal with the truth about myself. The truth only hurts for a little while and for me is readily assimilated and accepted. A lie can prolong pain and is too often destructive...lies also feed upon themselves and tend to multiply until they are out of hand.

That is not to say I have never lied I take no pride when that happens and the shame I feel from it usually will drive me to the truth anyway. This makes it difficult for me to deal with people sometimes...I think too many people would rather not hear the truth (it raises too many of their own self-doubts and demons) and are uncomfortable around me To often the truths I offer to people are preferred to be viewed as "opinions"...thus most people think I am an opinionated, self-righteous, pain-in-the-a$$, b!tch. I dont' have a problem with that though...I don't have to live with those people...but I do have to live with myself

Quote:

my only advice to you maybe is to give support, and unconditional love to your dad, explain to him the why's to what she is doing so that he doesn't take what she says seriously

don't let it affect him. remind him to believe only 50% of what he sees and nothing of what he hears

he is a prince that one



I wouldn't say Pops is a prince...he definitely has his own little oddities that drive me nuts as well His oddities are pretty harmless though and I've come to accept them over the years.

I do try to help him when I can and offer as much support as possible. This year at X-mas I ended up helping him get Mom's presents. When he first asked her what she wanted he made certain stipulations regarding her gifts...no jewlry (she has enough to make the Queen of England stand up and take notice), nothing "for the house"and no clothes (see the jewelry statement). When given these stipulations Mom got po'd and started pouting...said she didn't want ANYTHING then.

I could understand where he was coming from. Last year he replaced her wedding rings for x-mas, beautiful platinum band and setting with a huge honkin' diamond in it. Those rings spend more time on the kitchen counter then they do on her finger He also got her this gorgeous $$$$ diamond tennis bracelet which she has only worn once:( To be honest, she could probably open her own jewelry shop with what he has bought her over the years but instead she keeps all the good stuff locked away and wears this CHEAP junk that she picks up at the dollar store and turns her fingers green, has gotten her ears infected or just falls apart. It does nought for Pops feelings to see the good stuff he buys snubbed in favor of junk. The same goes for clothes and household stuff too He wanted her to chose something totally frivolous this time, something not practical, that she wouldn't buy for herself and that wouldn't get locked away or stuffed in a closet. She dug in her heels and kept telling him she wanted nothing

All the time she is doing this she is telling me that if he DOESN'T get her anything there will be hell to pay and that WHAT he gets her better be what she wants I found this a rather incredulous statement and of course said "well, you told him you didn't want anything so I guess you'll be happy then when you get nothing" The woman says "that I said that is beside the point, he better still get me something." (?!?!?)

So I went shopping with him and we got her exactly what she asked for and/or told ME she wanted...jewelry (diamond earrings), stuff for the house and clothes and some hand-held games I think the only thing he was able to surprise her with was a portable CD player

The one bad thing that comes from my supporting of Pops is that I constantly get accused of taking his side on everything This included his A since I didn't beat the crap out of him when I heard about it. We are also frequently accused of discluding Mom from conversations and not bothering to go to anyplace she wants to go to (restaurants, shopping etc). Sadly, we make it a POINT of trying to draw her into our conversations and asking her repeatedly where she would like to go or what she would like to do. Her answers are usually "I don't understand what you guys are talking about" and "I don't care WHERE we go...you guys choose".

Once again, it is a vicious circle

Hugz,
Zoo

"If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm." - Mahatma Gandhi