I do help around the house, there was a time when she said I wasn't but I've helped ever since...to the point where I start feeling like she doesn't help around the house.
Well, then a 180 for you might be doing less around the house. DR goes into this, doing 180s is doing the opposite of what you've been doing. Changing the dynamics. If one spouse does everything, the other tends to get lazy. Maybe you should do less and see if she starts participating again.
Quote:
I haven't distanced myself from her, she feels that I'm all over her. That I want her all over me 24/7.
Then perhaps in your case LRT (or maybe going dim rather than dark) is appropriate. If you've been showering her with attention, then backing off of that is a 180. Again, it's all about changing the dynamics. Same with the compliments, back off and she'll start missing all that you've been doing. Now it isn't going to be immediate, it'll take weeks or months. So stick with it. Every 2 or 3 weeks review your journaling and see what did and did not work and tweak your plan accordingly.
Based on your description of the talk y'all had it sounds like you did the right things- mostly listened, mostly validated her feelings, took responsibility for your own problems when appropriate. That's good. I'm sure there were many things you wanted to say back, but they're going to have to wait until the R is getting back on solid ground.
Don't tell her she needs to move out or go stay with someone else, but it's OK to tell her that you support her if SHE decides to leave. But you need to leave that decision to her. She may resent it if she thinks you're kicking her out. Just let her make those decisions and give her your support. But do not let her force you out, she needs to make the decisions and suffer the consequences. It's part of the awakening process for the WAS.