Acceptance - My next challenge.

[Arsene]

I understand what you are saying FY and somehow it sounds very intuitive but I think that counter-intuitive is what is needed here. She is only just starting to open up so what I am doing seems to be working (by the way, this is LRT - W and I live apart and she has OM - I just don't feel like I'm in a position to impose/enforce boundaries at the moment). Now I need to be patient an let her come even closer, get even more comfortable before testing the water. Someone around here said something to the effect of "lifting the lid every two minutes to see if the turkey's done isn't making cook any faster, in fact, it's slowing it down". I'd have to agree with this.

You are right thought that things seem to be getting more comfortable and I hope that they keep up that way. I think I'll know/feel it when the time comes to check the water. For now, i told myself (and 25) that I would try not to worry about it for 90 days. I'm now a third of the way there.

Another issue I am considering is the fact that she is now in the capital city and that her two sisters are planning on talking to her about the situation. I can't help but being worried about the outcome of that discussion. So for now, I am playing it very safe.

25, I hear you about the judging (and the "but" thing) in fact as I was writing my update I just knew you would come out of the woodwork to let me have it. Don't worry. I'm not actually judging her. Just voicing thoughts which assail my mind on this site instead of to her and to myself. You are absolutely right on all points (except that I was never an absentee father).

Thank you both for your comments and continued support.