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Let's face it...I get angry when she asks me for suggestions and then, out of hand, says that none of them will work or that I am just crazy or wrong. I am frustrated by such easy dismissal of an idea without it even being TRIED first. Why ask for help or to be listened to if none of it makes any difference to you or to the assumptions you are going to make regardless?



Oh yeah...that really rings a bell. I call it the "Yes, But" people. They moan on and on. They ask for advice. If you give any or suggest anything they say, "Yes, but that won't work because...." Fill in the blank.

The pay off they are looking for is attention and to be in a martyr/victim role...and you are messing it up by looking at constructive solutions instead of saying "you POOR THING".

I'm sure anyone can do this once in a while, but if I notice it continuing--I avoid those people like the plauge. They can suck you dry if you let them!

I'm with Shiny (no big surprise ) in that your mom has more going on than some poorly-handled betrayed spouse issues.

My mom has much different issues, but equally distructive. I don't spend a lot of time around her & keep the subject steered away from certain subjects when I am around her. If niether one of those things work, I excuse myself and just leave! Some parents are, unfortunately, pretty toxic.