After 18 months - H is finally filing.

[25yearsmlc]

My computer was being fixed, so I have been away for a week.
Trying to catch up with everyone.

Things are moving along. I am definitely sensing a lot of progress in my detachment from my stich. More at peace, less thoughts of H and OW. Being successful at stopping negative thoughts. Focusing on what is working...

Everything I read when I first came here that made no sense at all is now sinking in. Detachment and working on myself...

My life is moving along, despite all the turmoil around me. I am meeting with my L next week. At this point, the D process is just a formality for me. A process in which my only goal is to do the right thing and protect my kids' interests. I can see it so clearly and I am at peace with it. I don't expect it to be pleasant, but I am ready for it.

Interactions with H are fine. Polite, detached, just fine. And I am not a basket case afterwards. I actually look at him and not like who he has become. The way he has treated me in the last couple of years, I even wonder if I would even consider working on our M with him at he is. I deserve better. Yes, I made a lot of mistakes, but I was willing to fix things.


I do miss the person I married, not this guy. OW can have this person. We would not work out anyways - lol...

My kids are amazing, my friends, my family. I am so lucky. Life has given me soooo much and I am grateful for everything and enjoying it. I will update later on my progress with my goals list. Some progress in some areas and not much in others, but that is ok. I am very much a work in progress and that is ok. So much to do... My list keeps getting longer and I look forward to it. I have the rest of my life to keep working at it, and I will

And the most amazing thing - I am so grateful for this experience.

Yes - when I used to read others here say that I was in shock. Now I get it, but I had to be ready for that. I wasn't before. Time has healed me enough to now get it and I am grateful for that healing. Without this painful experience I would have never embarked in this journey to become a better me. That is worth it all, even when it means that my M is over. Sure, I am still grieving that loss, but like one of my favorite songs says:

"You can't always get what we want.
But if you try sometimes, well you might find
You get what you need."

And that is where I am at.

I hope everyone here identifies their own daily healing and finds hope and comfort in it. It is happening...

I love this ^^^^post. I recall thinking along these lines a few years ago, but realizing how hard that it is to communicate to someone who is reeling in pain and or, trying to navigate in a new life, with a deeply wounded ego.

I often want to ask God, "hey, instead of this nightmare, why not let me learn a Big important LESSON by...oh, by winning the lottery? I promise not to be a jerk.

How about THAT as a test?? How about NOT having me endure this grief inducing ordeal?"

So far, the answer is "this is what you received, make the best of it."

And as you have realized, that is all we can do. Seriously.

You impress me, again. I feel bad for your h...what a rude awakening awaits him down the road.

But hey, NOT your problem...

((( )))