Thanks for the initial advice. I, like a lot of you, feel like I'm on a roller coaster ride that won't end--one moment I'm hopeful, the next I feel such despair.
I think I've been DB before I even knew about DBing (thankfully since he pretty much dropped the bomb). However, the impending stress of his moving out & thereafter (not knowing what the relationship will change to ) plus trying so hard to "put my best foot forward, w/o overdoing it" when he's around has really challenged me emotionally. When he leaves I feel like a bomb ready to go off- sometimes I yell at my kids, which they do not deserve, and sometimes I'll go in my room and cry. My kids know I'm upset and I don't want them to feel like they need to be the parent in supporting me.
A question I have..my husband decided about 3 weeks ago to start offering "hugs/cuddling" as a way of comforting me since he admitted fully that my reason for being upset was all his fault (true)...I enjoy the physical closeness and it definitely comforts me, but sometimes he asks if I want a hug/to be close when I am clearly NOT upset, so I think it is something he is wanting as well or does just to make himself feel better about all the heartache he's caused. My question is... should I give in to this closeness now knowing it is a comfort for both of us & that when he moves out he might actually miss it, OR does it make me seem "needy" and doesn't allow me to DETACH (which I admit I haven't done at all)? It feels SO good, but I wonder if it is the right thing to do.
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
