Just journaling for day:

H took S with him to his apartment last night. 2nd time. Very difficult for me frown He also took S to the zoo. I told H that was great, because for so many years, I had asked H to do some family activities, and H didn't. He told me last night that he put work as the first priority.

S told H all day how much he missed me and his dog.
H took S home early, and both stayed for the rest of the day. I invited H to come over tomorrow if he wanted to.

H's reaction last night reminded me of thinking about times I messed up, blew up, got angry... This is what H remembers of me, my temper.
Yes, I was angry and hurt because I had no idea what was going on. No communication, and lies.

How in the beginning H was hurting, and I sat there and used logic and every phone call every night was me beating him in the head with it. How when I went to his apartment and I looked at it and was disappointed that 'this was how he was living'.

How even a few weeks ago, I still tried to get him to 'see'.

I can see how he feels now with me. Why he says he was stressed. How he sadly says once in awhile: "But I moved out." He was looking for approval.

Yes there is a lot of messed up things that happen...

Bottom line is I need to hold my tongue, and work on my temper.


Me& h + S
M: 13 t: 14

H moved 2/12. Own apt 05/12, EAs, PAs, gfriends, oh my!
I'm done. 12/12

"I get knocked down, but I get up again.. you're never gonna keep me down" Chumbawumba