So I realize I just posted that. H and I had a really horrible phone conversation in which I tried to reason with him and I finally (I think) have it through my head that he is simply insane. Then I ran into one of his friends and made things even worse by saying something rude and childish about where his head might be. Sigh. I think I just need to shut up. Seriously. My mouth is my biggest problem. I am even pretty much okay with the detaching otherwise but I just open it up and screw up. Not sure how to fix this or if I even can. I think it is just time for me to be and worry about me totally. So long as he is not causing more damage to the kids it's all good. I have to focus on them and school for another 8 months then I am done.
I will say that all of this has made me rethink my nursing specialty. In the past, I really wanted to go to anesthesia school. Now, though I am giving sincere consideration to mental health nurse practitioner. All the depression and addiction I have seen people go through. Not to mention my own family. I just wondered if maybe I am getting clear signs about my path that I had been overlooking.
Also, I have been thinking about church. I definitely consider myself a Christian but I have not been going to church. In fact, I have been actively searching for signs lately. Even before H left. Possibly in part to my own feelings of hopelessness in my M. The twins have expressed a desire to return to church. Not sure how to even find a church. In the past, I just went to my familys church. Living here, I have never attended church in this area. Thoughts..?
