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Well...how about a 180 on your mom? Sounds like you've been trying to show her "the way", to talk her out of her current mode of operation. What if you started agreeing with her instead?

As she gets worked up being convinced that dad is cheating...you get worked up...instead of disagreeing with her, agree with her?

Sage




Oh dear....I have tried this Sage...ONCE.

It did not go well at all. Mom went completely off the deep end and I had to wrestle with her to get the frying pan out of her hands. SHe was on her way out the door with it, pops was outside with his back to her...he would have literally not known what hit him!

In some twisted way I think she wants to be bullied, needs someone to argue with her and convince her she's on the wrong track to some extent. The bad thing is is that it drains me and leaves me wound at the same time. H doesn't appreciate this. He loves mom don't get me wrong but he thinks she is off her rocker.

H told me last night that we will never go on another trip with them again. This is because one of Mom's favorite forms of making pops pay is to make a huge scene in public. It doesn't take much for this to occur either...simply not hearing something she said during a conversation is enough to send her off and running This happened on a trip we all made together to Nashville and it was UGLY. H lost his respect for her that day and her continuing to act that way when we go someplace with them hasn't done anything to help him gain it back

It is a sad tangled mess to be sure

Zoo

"If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm." - Mahatma Gandhi