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I really don't understand this. I have read so many different posts here on the BB where an A was involved and I have yet to see anyone as "out there" as she is...someone who for all intents and purposes is lucky but would rather be consumed by all that poison. I know that everyone deals with this type of sitch in their own way but there does tend to be an underlying theme of WANTINGto forgive so we can enjoy our new M/R to it's fullest...or am I wrong? I had the same thing happen to me as she had, my m was in far more danger of ending even then hers was but I still can't understand the need she has to cling to all that ugliness.



Zoo,

My hunch is this - if your Dad wanted to leave your Mum, then she would be pleading with him to stay and saying she'll forgive him. Because he is still in the M, she has the 'luxury', if you like, of holding it against him and extracting milage out of being the innocent, wounded party.

Perhaps we always want what we can't easily have. Just a thought.

Livnlearn

"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates