The 2x4's are when you do something stupid when you know better.
"I know I shouldn't say I love you BUT I sent her 13 dozen red roses and 24 dozen white roses because that will win her over and had them spell out "I LOVE YOU SAM" in front of her office."
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
...and if you re-read the MLC for dummies, it is part of the craziness that you might do just that. Send flowers. Communicate that you love them. Act funny.
Detaching helps to see the humor and the craziness and not react to their actions in the same way that you otherwise might have.
It is kind of funny in a way. More so when looking back...
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
I just finished reading the MLC for dummies. I was amazed at how very accurate it is for my sitch. It helps to make sense of some of the craziness.
I've thought for a while now that if people can have very similar scripts when "falling in love" it would make sense that the script on the other end could be nearly identical too.
Hang in there Sunny! I miss sleeping with my H very much too....it's been 6 months. I just try not to think about that any more when I go to sleep and just try to make it through the night. Tomorrow is always a new day.
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
Hang in there Sunny! I miss sleeping with my H very much too....it's been 6 months. I just try not to think about that any more when I go to sleep and just try to make it through the night. Tomorrow is always a new day.
thanks Reach you and all the support here !!
Sunny
If someone decides there is no goodness in you they won't be able to see it. I'll take a BLT over a MLC anyday !!!
I read that too. I wonder when that stuff comes out of H's mouth if I will laugh at him. Probably not a good idea. It's just insane. At least I'm prepared after reading lots on this forum. I definitely wasn't prepared for the initial detonation.
On Tuesday I told my wife I was going out on Fri & Sat – she said fine.
Thursday night I get home and she says you’re going out Friday right and I said yeah and Saturday as well. I told you Tuesday night and you said fine – she said fine I will get a sitter I said great !!
She can’t get a sitter she texts me if I have any ideas on Friday and I don’t answer her text – when I get home last night she tells me don’t you ever answer my texts I tell her I didn’t get one.
This morning I am leaving for work she says don’t you ever answer my questions I said I am sorry I am confused she said I asked you if you know any sitters last night (which she didn’t) do you have any ideas I said to call our nieces she said that she tried I said I don’t know anyone else and I left for work.
I am confused as to always agreeing and getting a life in balance – should I have cancelled my plans to go to my concert tonight and stayed home so she could go or am I doing the right thing by going out and trying to get life. Here is the thing I would much rather stay home and relax but I don’t want to be a stay at home babysitter. I really hate being so unsure about everything all the time.
Also my mom invited us over on Sunday and I don’t know if I should ask her to go with us or leave her home – so damn confusing –
Sunny
Me-49 W-41 M-9yrs T-15 6 year old boy She turned 40 and BAZINGA W gave me the ILYBINILWY speech - Oct 2011 next day she came out of it for a month like we were newly weds - Distant and cold from 12/11 to 1/12 I Don't love you at all 2/14/2012 I don't remember a day in my life when I loved you 3/31/2012 I want a divorce Haven't made love since January 2012 Haven't kissed or touched since March 2012 Threatening to call mediator since 6/2012 Still in the same house, separate bedrooms The Joy of the Lord is my strength
If someone decides there is no goodness in you they won't be able to see it. I'll take a BLT over a MLC anyday !!!
Don't change your plans. She was well aware that you had plans and you had advised her on Tuesday that you would be going out. It is up to her to locate a sitter if she wants to go out herself.
As for tomorrow, I would let her know that that your mother had invited all of you over on Sunday and if she wants to go, she is more than welcome. If she doesn't respond or says no, go and have a good time.
You can't rescue her, nor can you fix her every problem. She needs to learn that you will not be there for her every beck and call and that you are moving on w/your life. That means...facing the consequences of her own actions. Allow your w, to put her big girl panties on and grow up...do not rescue her as she needs to learn some necessary lessons that she missed out on as a teenager.
Have fun at the concert! Don't even thick twice about changing your plans.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Have fun at the concert! Don't even thick twice about changing your plans.
Ok I will - I didn't tell her that I was going to a concert or the fact that I am leaving right from work -- as I usually stop home first -- do I owe her this information or should I just go to the concert and get home when I get home ???
If someone decides there is no goodness in you they won't be able to see it. I'll take a BLT over a MLC anyday !!!
