I know it's not DB... but to act glib as if I don't care I think was reinforcing why he didn't want to be with me. He walked away out of hurt, not out of MLC or OW, so it actually WAS something that I did. My behavior has to change in a different way - I'm still doing the 180s and "as ifs" but LRT does not seem to be a winning strategy.
I think I am struggling with the same thing. In the first month, when I "acted as if", and stayed real positive, H yelled at me and told me I was acting as if nothing is wrong. I also tend to not be vulnerable around him, which he pointed out early on in our M.
I know my H is not going to grab me up in his arms if I fall apart, but on some level, I think he wants to see that. That was the way I got him to agree to think about putting the M back together. It may also be part of his "control" scheme, which I know is not healthy.
Holding in all of my emotions also lead to my explosion this week, which I can only hope we get out of. What if I had just broke down to him or wrote him a heartfelt letter about my hurt instead of verbally confronting him?
I'm so glad you got to laugh together last night. And I think if you can sit down on the finances, that will be great. I know that struggling with money can make a stressful situation worse, so maybe you can work through that together.
M44 H57 D17 (special needs) M 18 yrs Bomb 7/2/12 Still living together
