After 18 months - H is finally filing.

[keep_going]

My computer was being fixed, so I have been away for a week.
Trying to catch up with everyone.

Things are moving along. I am definitely sensing a lot of progress in my detachment from my stich. More at peace, less thoughts of H and OW. Being successful at stopping negative thoughts. Focusing on what is working...

Everything I read when I first came here that made no sense at all is now sinking in. Detachment and working on myself...

My life is moving along, despite all the turmoil around me. I am meeting with my L next week. At this point, the D process is just a formality for me. A process in which my only goal is to do the right thing and protect my kids' interests. I can see it so clearly and I am at peace with it. I don't expect it to be pleasant, but I am ready for it.

Interactions with H are fine. Polite, detached, just fine. And I am not a basket case afterwards. I actually look at him and not like who he has become. The way he has treated me in the last couple of years, I even wonder if I would even consider working on our M with him at he is. I deserve better. Yes, I made a lot of mistakes, but I was willing to fix things.

I do miss the person I married, not this guy. OW can have this person. We would not work out anyways - lol...

My kids are amazing, my friends, my family. I am so lucky. Life has given me soooo much and I am grateful for everything and enjoying it. I will update later on my progress with my goals list. Some progress in some areas and not much in others, but that is ok. I am very much a work in progress and that is ok. So much to do... My list keeps getting longer and I look forward to it. I have the rest of my life to keep working at it, and I will

And the most amazing thing - I am so grateful for this experience.

Yes - when I used to read others here say that I was in shock. Now I get it, but I had to be ready for that. I wasn't before. Time has healed me enough to now get it and I am grateful for that healing. Without this painful experience I would have never embarked in this journey to become a better me. That is worth it all, even when it means that my M is over. Sure, I am still grieving that loss, but like one of my favorite songs says:

"You can't always get what we want.
But if you try sometimes, well you might find
You get what you need."

And that is where I am at.

I hope everyone here identifies their own daily healing and finds hope and comfort in it. It is happening...