nettieboop....and WELCOME TO MIDLIFE CRISIS. It's a script they all say, down to the word even intonation and pitch of their voice! Buckleup, it's a bumpy ride! Are you new to the boards?
Snodderly as always thanks for that reminder. I now see where my expectations always become unrealistic or too high with him. It's not long after he starts to act semi normal again, I get my hopes up that this insanity can be put behind us and we can at least start a better relationship, at least as far as the kids are concerned.
AJM, yes I still try and think of him as rational, then question why he acts irrational. Yes that's exactly how Im feeling and where Im at now. Its done, we're divorced, you got what you wanted, we have two kids, time to move forwards. I find it odd how he's been so selective with me over certain subjects, yet at times like nothing ever happened and being as friendly as ever.
Sometimes I've wondered if he's angry with me for keeping my head held high and moving foward with my life. As horribly down and out as I felt and was, I do think I gave the impression to him that I was JUST FINE without him, and was moving forward, period. Im financially better off than he is, keeping my house running, raising the girls, and working full time. He see's this and I think he hates it. I sometimes wonder if he really wanted to ruin me.
Im kinda thinking he got the hint....you stay on your side of the fence and I stay on mine by me firmly defending my boundaries and not backing down to his twisted manipultions. Lets stick to business and not get into anything more than necessary, but it's ok to be a little friendly every now and then.
What's comical is I told him that if he had thrown the CD's away, boxed them up, or even broke them cause they were mine....no worries! I just want to know if Im getting them back or not so I don't have to go buy new ones or download them on itunes! See there, I told him it was OK IF HE DAMAGED THEM, THREW THEM AWAY OR LOST THEM... JUST TELL ME IF YOU HAVE THEM OR NOT. However that's very typical of him. He's very passive aggressive. I've also seen serious pursuer/distancer with him. I feel like he distances himself so far, and will only talk to me just so much before he just cuts me off again. This too happened in our marriage. Because of that, Im happy for the divorce. But it is still frustrating if you need to talk about your kids. I finally feel like we're parenting and he literally shuts down in the middle of the conversation. Done.
Well just proof of how crazy this is. They're pissed at you for all their misery in life. So you give them the big D! They get to go fornacating into the wild blue Yonder with OM/OW, blow an insane amount of money, still get to see the kids even though it's painful for them, and leave everyone heartbroken. Yet you go through the pain, and healing, come out the other side of this more intact and soldified than ever, work on being nice, AND THEY STILL HATE YOU
