Can This Be Salvaged?

[Jack_Three_Beans]

As cool as Denver is...

make that promise to yourself.

Although 'win' is subjective.

[Denver_2010]

As cool as Denver is...

make that promise to yourself.

Although 'win' is subjective.

Jack is WAY cooler!

He is right... make that promise to yourself.

[leopoldstotch]

Jack you are right. By win I mean no matter what happens in my marriage I will come out of this a better person.

[leopoldstotch]

Ok now that I have some time I can go over your post Denver.

You are right that one of my 180's needs to be mood enhancement. I definitely take things way to serious around the house and I can tell you that I have begun being upbeat and will continue to do so.

When my wife first fell in love with me I was a happy person. We would talk and joke and now things are just way to serious no joking and it's me who has to change that.

The trust issues I agree with you on 100%. I am pretty open with my wife. She has access to my FB and to my cell phone. I never lock the phone so she can't see it. As a matter of fact I know she was looking at it this morning because I left it on my dresser and when I went in too the room she was walking away from the dresser and it looked like I startled her. I didn't say anything but chuckled to myself. She can check all she wants I have nothing to hide. I always tell her where I am going and if I will be home or not. If I drink too much at my buddies I stay but come home first thing in the morning. I usually invite her out with me when I go out but she typically says no.

I hear you on taking the lead and the changes I have to make are for ME and not her. That is what I meant by saying to you that I will win this battle. No matter what happens I will come out of this a changed and much better person.

Well I have to run right now. Gotta go to my son's soccer game. I'll check in later.

[Denver_2010]

Ok now that I have some time I can go over your post Denver.

You are right that one of my 180's needs to be mood enhancement. I definitely take things way to serious around the house and I can tell you that I have begun being upbeat and will continue to do so.

When my wife first fell in love with me I was a happy person. We would talk and joke and now things are just way to serious no joking and it's me who has to change that.

The trust issues I agree with you on 100%. I am pretty open with my wife. She has access to my FB and to my cell phone. I never lock the phone so she can't see it. As a matter of fact I know she was looking at it this morning because I left it on my dresser and when I went in too the room she was walking away from the dresser and it looked like I startled her. I didn't say anything but chuckled to myself. She can check all she wants I have nothing to hide. I always tell her where I am going and if I will be home or not. If I drink too much at my buddies I stay but come home first thing in the morning. I usually invite her out with me when I go out but she typically says no.

I hear you on taking the lead and the changes I have to make are for ME and not her. That is what I meant by saying to you that I will win this battle. No matter what happens I will come out of this a changed and much better person.

Well I have to run right now. Gotta go to my son's soccer game. I'll check in later.

That all sounds good for the most part. I'd probably suggest cutting out the drinking at buddies' place to the point where you can't get home. I think that I'd make it a point to be home with my W every night.

[leopoldstotch]

I hear what you're saying Denver. It's not a habit I usually come home I'd say 95% of the time and I don't go to my buddies every Friday. As a matter of fact I'm probably home more than my wife is.

Getting some projects done around the house that have been long neglected. That's another 180 for me. I'm not very handy so I don't like to fix things but I'm giving it a go again. That is one of my wife's complaints that everyone else has their house fixed up except us.

What are your thoughts on my W looking at my phone when I'm not around? Also our 20th Anniversary is on Wed so I'm not sure I should do anything or get my W anything except maybe a card. If I know her she won't even be home for long on Wed. She prolly has volleyball to coach then will go out walking.

W and my youngest S are out working with my cousins and have been gone since this 8am. I don't they will be back until 11ish. Time to get back to work.

[leopoldstotch]

Nothing new or exciting to report. So I guess that's good, lol. Doing some projects around the house and I'm definitely feeling upbeat. What a difference just acting happy can do for a person.

[leopoldstotch]

Just checking in. Doing work around the house. W has been moody but I'm not letting her moods have an effect on me anymore. Tomorrow is our 20th Wedding Anniversary. I plan on getting her a card not sure if I should make a big deal of it considering we aren't "techinally" together according to her. SIGH. What to do?

[AnotherStander]

Just checking in. Doing work around the house. W has been moody but I'm not letting her moods have an effect on me anymore. Tomorrow is our 20th Wedding Anniversary. I plan on getting her a card not sure if I should make a big deal of it considering we aren't "techinally" together according to her. SIGH. What to do?

What a coincidence, our 20th is coming up shortly as well. In my case W has moved out, so I don't plan on doing anything. No card, no call, no email, nothing. For now our marriage only exists on paper, so there's no point acknowledging (much less celebrating) it. Your sitch may be different since you're still under the same roof. You might go ahead and get a card, then wait to see if your W gives you one or says anything to you, then you can give yours to her if you feel it's warranted.

[leopoldstotch]

So today is our 20th. I said happy anniversary to my W and she said happy anniversary is today the 3rd? Ha like she doesn't know. Decided to giver a card and as expected she did not acknowledge it. Come to think of it I'm having a hard time remembering if she ever got me a card on our anniversary.

Strange that with my birthday coming up as well it triggers memories in me overall she has not been a very loving W even when things were going great for us. It has always been one of my complaints about her that she is not a very warm person towards me and our boys but to others she is. Lots to think about.