wow guys, just wow... you wouldn't believe the last two weeks of my life... I hope you are ready... grab some popcorn its going to be good...

So two weeks ago was the week my husband supposedly broke things off with the OW, he returned home claiming they were just friends, he needed time to adjust, and work on him.. well Friday night he says he is going to meet up with some guy friends... okay... but his phone is off when I call... I automatically think he has been with her.. so when he gets home I ask him point blank, and he denies it... makes up a story about how she was bugging him so he turned off his phone... then the next day we had a good day together... it was a nice day out just as friends really.. then Sunday she needs to go to the laundrymat and get groceries so he says he will be home... promises..

At 2 AM.. he isn't home... and his phone is off... this upsets me... causes me to do some searching and I realize through his phone records that he was with her Friday night also... so I get ready for work.. and at 4am.. I drive to her house and knock on her door and ask to speak to my husband...

He of course is upset... says "what part of let me handle my business and stay out of my life do you not understand" and proceeds to tell me, in front of her, that he wants a divorce so he can pursue a relationship with her, so I told him-- go home and pack your things and be out of the house by 4... he says that isnt fair... so I say okay... you can be at the house between 8-4 while I am at work, otherwise you have to be gone...

So for two weeks now he has been living with her full time... two to three days will pass with no contact and then as soon as she is at work, he is calling me wanting to come over and I refuse... she is texting me, telling me they are just roommates... basically she is waiitng for him to divorce me for them to be more... I want nothing to do with it.. I deserve better.. what do they do all day? smoke pot together . He has no job, he loses his military pay in November and this is what he is doing? I started seeing my new counselor and I LOVE her she is so easy to talk to and doesn't pressure me to make any deicsions and seems to really think that a lot of this is related to my husband's pTSD, the fear of being alone, etc. She wants him to get help justfor himself asap, but I cannotforce him to want to help himself.

I do miss him, but for the most part, the minimal contact- of only seeing him once a week for an hour or so to handle financial matters- because right now I don't want anything else, has been pretty relaxing. I am living my life and not worrying about him. We both agree we aren't ready to divorce, but I am not ready to accept him how he is now.

I am sitting here with my dogs laying on my lap, coming home to my dogs and to a quiet house to do homework for a few hours or my own thing has been a breathe of fresh air. I can finally start really focusing on myself and if we don't make it we don't, but if we do, we do. For now, I have to take this alone timefor me.

Hope this makes sense. Thanks for listening guys.

M-28
H-28
M-9 1/2 years
T- 12 years
PA- 01/02/12 (still going on)