I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree, ic. I just don't think that an OM should be a topic of conversation between a formerly wayward wife and her husband, unless YOU want to talk about it. Not because you want to be "supportive," but because you want to learn more about why she was attracted to him, why she was unhappy in the marriage, how she allowed her boundaries to be let down (so that the two of you can take steps to make sure that doesn't happen again), etc.
I think it usually saps a betrayed husband's self-esteem (and can even be emasculating). If you're okay with it though, then maybe you're one of the minority and are able to do that. I know I couldn't.
