My guess is that your wife has major depression again.
Well anything is possible, but she is still on Zoloft (has been for over 10 years). When we were in MC the C actually said the same thing, that she felt like W was depressed. W did go see her PCP who told her that she didn't think she was depressed, but rather she was going through the normal "downs" of relationship problems. She left her med's unchanged. W generally seems to be pretty upbeat and positive, but she was always very withdrawn in the C sessions which is probably why the C thought she was depressed.
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Likely has issues/ trauma from childhood that still haven't been reconciled.
Highly likely. She was angry at her dad for dying, for many years she blamed him for it (he had MS). She never, ever discusses her emotions so I think a lot of that may still be bottled up in her. Plus she had that abusive R where the guy threatened her life, tried to strangle her, etc. She's been to C for these things, but are the resolved? Don't know.
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She sounds very much like my H. He continues to say how damaging his parents divorce was to him and that our kids are the most important thing to him when in actuality his actions directly oppose that.
I'm the one whose parents went through the D with me in the crossfire, W never went through that. I'm the one that swore I'd never let it happen to my kids. But I never stopped to think that I couldn't stop W from that if she decided to end it.
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Also, the holidays are coming up. Not sure what your religion is. Those are hard while separated.
W is Catholic, I'm a non-denom Christian. We always make a big deal out of the holidays, I'm not sure how it's going to play out this year as we haven't discussed it. We usually go as a family to MIL's for Thanksgiving and MIL has already told me she wants me to come, so we will probably do that together. Not sure about Halloween & Christmas yet. Hey, here's hoping for reconciliation by Christmas
Journaling update, I was mowing when W came by to pick up the kids yesterday. I stopped to go kiss them goodbye. S9 said he wanted to stay with me. I talked to W alone about it and told her it was fine with me, but it was her call. While we were talking he came in and said "I don't like it at your house and I want to stay with dad." Wow, almost the same words D15 used the day before! W said she'd rather he stay with me the next night (Friday) since I'm taking him to a scouting event Saturday. He started crying, but I kissed and hugged him and started joking with him and he cheered up and went with her.
I asked D15 how it went with W yesterday and she said W bought her a vase with a yellow rose to make amends for her being so unhappy (and wanting to come to my house) the day before and then took them for ice cream. Kudos to W for doing that, but that is so out of character for her. I can't remember her ever doing anything like that before for me or for the kids. Interesting.
