Keep breathing...

[mamabird]

We did go to MC back in July and all we did was yell at each other. I was sooooo angry at him and it all came out then, because I was afraid to have those conversations without a third party.

Now that we've been talking much more, we each know where we stand and it's clear that we need help understanding each other, communicating effectively - and getting perspective on what is "acceptable" and what isn't. For instance, a week after I moved back, a friend came over for a very brief house tour. Turns out H thought that was completely out of line and expected me to "know that." This is why we need MC. Sometimes opinions differ and it helps to have a neutral third party weighing in.

I definitely understand that I gotta go with H's program here. I have no intention of blaming him for any of this, but at some point along the way we have to address his abusive words. We did talk about it a bit last night and I told him how awful I felt when that happened. I couldn't have told him that previously because we had gotten to such a bad place.

H is generally not interested in "seminars" and things like that, unless they are recommended by someone he trusts and respects. Maybe he knows you, Denver. That's where his company is headquartered ;-). The other thing is that we are not religious. But we'll cross that bridge. I do appreciate you guys looking out for me and I will keep you updated as we go thru MC. I think the weekends could be helpful but I just don't see him buying into that at this point. He's not even reading any books.

Now, regarding books for ME to read. I'm interested in relationship books mostly. Not that I don't have my own things to work on - I've been very selfish in the M and insecure about my own relationships with men in general. Not sure if there's a book that could help with those, so I thought I would concentrate on strategies to improve our M and how to communicate better.